poetry/prose by Calvero.

Now I wonder how Whatsername has been.

Could not be more bonered up to see Brody Dalle play live in Brooklyn in May.

Sometimes I imagine cramming my entire arm into my throat, reaching all the way down into the depths of my guts, and grabbing onto everything that terrorizes me. Then I pull it all outta my body and proceed to fold each individual thing that terrorizes me into a paper airplane-type-thingy which I throw far, far away from me, smiling to myself as it catches onto the wind, greatly distancing itself from its former home, and never to be seen/felt/heard from ever again.

Today, immediately after folding up an empty box of canned cat food, I imagined a big pair of hands manifesting from outta nowhere and proceeding to fold me up in the same manner which I had folded up the empty box of canned cat food, compacting me, making me smaller, and, consequently, each fold progressively lessening the intense pain/pressure I always have in the left side of my chest/armpit. And then, after the big pair of hands have finished folding me up, they just place me in the recycling bag with all of the other recyclables. And I wait there with them, the recyclables. Free of pain. Free of human responsibilities/feelings. Not happy, not scared. Just patiently waiting to be killed so I can start over.

Beautiful.

Her smile looks like a black cat with a canary in its mouth.

irlisdead:

eirlthenovel:

to download, click the book cover or here



Rad….

irlisdead:

eirlthenovel:

to download, click the book cover or here

Rad….

curvypervyme:

calveropoetry:


Fucking
your vagina
felt like fucking
a flower.

I’m not
even sure
what that means
exactly…

I just think
it means
that fucking
your vagina
felt really
pretty.

“Pretty”
is a lame
and shitty way
to describe
how fucking
your vagina felt
but it’s all
I can come up
with…

Fucking
your vagina

Lol

Writing is the abusive boyfriend we all keep going back to.

The Damned - New Rose

Someone needs to buy me a goblet-sized, adult sippy cup so this way I can finally drink my wine without mass amounts of cat hair in it.

Thank you in advance. I love you long time.


University of Hell Press is having a contest on their Facebook page where after they reach 666 likes there will be a drawing and the winner will receive a University of Hell Press super, awesome bundle package full of UHell Press books as well as books and CD’s which have influenced their authors. Here are the prizes I contributed to the contest…
666 Contest - Tease #5 - Calvero



Calvero, author of someday i’m going to marry Katy Perry and the forthcoming i want love so great it makes nicholas sparks creams in his pants shares his two contributions to the University of Hell Press 666 Contest:
Richard Brautigan’s Trout Fishing In America, The Pill versus the Springhill Mine Disaster, and In Watermelon Sugar. An edition of three books (two novels, one collection of poetry) all for the price of one. My initial reaction after reading this book, or books, was something like intrigued confusion. Kinda like a little boy accidentally seeing a female’s naked breast for the first time. You didn’t understand it but it excited you and really made you wanna understand it because it was new and like nothing you had ever seen before. So I read through the collection again. And after having read through it a second time, it changed how I wanted to write forever. Brautigan was pure imagination layered with humor. He approached writing from angles that most writers, like myself, never even knew existed. He played with his words. He beautifully molded them together even though the words didn’t fit together. But still, somehow, he made them fit together which was what truly made him a genius. Every time I go into a bookstore and I begin blindly perusing books to buy, I feel like I’m hearing the same written voice over and over and over despite all of the books being written by different authors. I feel like most writers spend their entire careers trying to conform into this single literary voice that the world expects/wants from authors. And I hate that. And that’s why I love Brautigan. Pure originality. Pure voice. His books are like something written on another planet and then translated into English. And they’re good. They’re just so, so good.
Green Day’s Dookie. This album introduced me to punk? Yes. Cliché? Yes. But I couldn’t care less. To this date, Green Day has been one of the most, if not the most important discovery of my life. It was my gateway to a scene of music which laid the foundation for the person I’ve become today. Not to mention everything the band and their music have taught me. And for me it all began with Dookie. Almost 20 years after I personally discovered the album, and four Green Day tattoos later, I still listen to it on a regular rotation. Aggressive, fast-paced and catchy as fuck, it always delivers. I also like the fact that someday I will be a 90-year-old man forcing my grandkids to listen to this album called Dookie while screaming at them, “Now this is what real music is!”

Like University of Hell Press HERE.

University of Hell Press is having a contest on their Facebook page where after they reach 666 likes there will be a drawing and the winner will receive a University of Hell Press super, awesome bundle package full of UHell Press books as well as books and CD’s which have influenced their authors. Here are the prizes I contributed to the contest…

666 Contest - Tease #5 - Calvero

Calvero, author of someday i’m going to marry Katy Perry and the forthcoming i want love so great it makes nicholas sparks creams in his pants shares his two contributions to the University of Hell Press 666 Contest:


Richard Brautigan’s Trout Fishing In America, The Pill versus the Springhill Mine Disaster, and In Watermelon Sugar. An edition of three books (two novels, one collection of poetry) all for the price of one. My initial reaction after reading this book, or books, was something like intrigued confusion. Kinda like a little boy accidentally seeing a female’s naked breast for the first time. You didn’t understand it but it excited you and really made you wanna understand it because it was new and like nothing you had ever seen before. So I read through the collection again. And after having read through it a second time, it changed how I wanted to write forever. Brautigan was pure imagination layered with humor. He approached writing from angles that most writers, like myself, never even knew existed. He played with his words. He beautifully molded them together even though the words didn’t fit together. But still, somehow, he made them fit together which was what truly made him a genius. Every time I go into a bookstore and I begin blindly perusing books to buy, I feel like I’m hearing the same written voice over and over and over despite all of the books being written by different authors. I feel like most writers spend their entire careers trying to conform into this single literary voice that the world expects/wants from authors. And I hate that. And that’s why I love Brautigan. Pure originality. Pure voice. His books are like something written on another planet and then translated into English. And they’re good. They’re just so, so good.


Green Day’s Dookie. This album introduced me to punk? Yes. Cliché? Yes. But I couldn’t care less. To this date, Green Day has been one of the most, if not the most important discovery of my life. It was my gateway to a scene of music which laid the foundation for the person I’ve become today. Not to mention everything the band and their music have taught me. And for me it all began with Dookie. Almost 20 years after I personally discovered the album, and four Green Day tattoos later, I still listen to it on a regular rotation. Aggressive, fast-paced and catchy as fuck, it always delivers. I also like the fact that someday I will be a 90-year-old man forcing my grandkids to listen to this album called Dookie while screaming at them, “Now this is what real music is!”

Like University of Hell Press HERE.

If I don’t make love to at least one woman with a mo-hawk before I die, I will consider my life an entire waste.

"All these many years I’ve loved you
No-one has ever known
No-one has ever known but you alone
I’ve kept it locked inside my heart
And smiled through all my tears
My darling, I have loved you oh so many years

Each night within my lonely room
I cry dear, over you
And pray to God that things will turn out right
But when the dawn of day appears
I brush away my tears
My darling, I have loved you oh so many years

I’ll go on pretending that my life is oh so gay
And happy dear without you by my side
When all the time my heart is longing just to have you near
My darling I have loved you oh so many years

Maybe fate will lead us down a path where we will meet again
And then we’ll both be free to love anew
Then one sweet kiss from your dear lips
Will banish all my fears
My darling I have loved you oh so many years
My darling I have loved you oh so many years”

It’s in my blood
It’s what I know
I am a god damn animal…